


Safety First

by Corbella0417



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Comforting!Sam, Lots of Angst, M/M, Smut, Some Fluff, Wall Sex, gunrange sex, hurt!Dean, sad!castiel, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 18:09:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3143720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corbella0417/pseuds/Corbella0417
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets hurt by Cas on accident and the Angel has a hard time dealing. Dean decides it's time to teach Cas how to use a gun. </p><p>Trigger Warning: read the notes at the beginning.</p><p>I have no Beta so any mistakes are my own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 3-5 are set for a trigger warning. Thoughts of suicide do happen in this story so take precaution if that is a problem for you. 
> 
> Otherwise I hope you enjoy!

“Dean, why won’t you just teach me?” Cas asked, getting more frustrated by the second. 

“Because Cas, you don’t need to use a gun. You’re not a hunter. Just, stay here and we’ll be back in a couple days.” Dean grabbed his bag and walked off, Sam following after giving Cas an apologetic look. 

Cas sighed as he sat down at the table, his frustration growing ever second that Dean treated him like a child. Ok sure, he wasn’t an Angel anymore, just a human. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be of use to them. 

He played with some of the stray bullets Dean had left behind, rolling them in his fingers before deciding to go back to his room. As he stood something caught his attention, a shiny glint lying on the seat of a chair. 

It was on of Dean’s guns, he must have forgotten to put it in his bag. 

Cas smirked, this could be the perfect chance to practice. Then he could show Dean he wasn’t really useless. 

After spending some time looking the gun over and studying its parts, Cas finally loaded it. It was heavy in his hand, the weight new to him but comfortable. Like a kid he practiced his hold, trying to move around with it like he’d seen Dean do with his before. 

It took a bit more attention than he thought though because he didn’t hear the door open, or the sound of footsteps as the figure came closer. 

Suddenly he heard a sound, spinning around quickly and tripping. In his haste he accidentally pulled the trigger, the bullet flying off and connection with the figure. Cas didn’t see who it hit. Just heard the grunt of pain before they both hit the ground. 

Sitting up quickly he raised the gun to defend himself, only to see Dean lying unconscious across from his, blood running from the gunshot wound.


	2. Chapter 2

“Dean?” Cas asked as he dropped the gun, looking at the hunter with fear. 

He heard the door slam shut as Sam rushed in, fear on his face and gun raised. He lowered it when he saw no immediate threat. 

“Dean? Dean!” Sam ran to him, trying to wake him up. “Dean, come on!” 

Dean groaned, grabbing his head where he smacked it on the table. “Sammy…what…?” 

“It’s ok, just relax… Cas, go get the first aid kit in the kitchen.” 

Cas didn’t move, fear on his face as he stayed locked in place. 

“Cas!” 

Cas shook his head, and got up, running to grab the kit. He came back in seconds, hands shaking as he handed it over before backing away. He watched as Sam put pressure on the wound, wincing when he heard Dean cry out. 

He couldn’t believe he had shot him. He didn’t mean to…he just tripped. Not that it mattered at this point. He still caused Dean harm. 

“What the hell Cas?” Sam asked angrily as he tried to help Dean stand. 

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” 

He stayed by the wall as the brothers went to Dean’s room, watching as Sam practically held most of Dean’s weight. He wanted to help but he was too afraid he would hurt him again. 

 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 

 

Dean groaned as Sam set him on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. “He shot me. I can’t… How did he even get a gun? Ah!” Dean winced as Sam pulled on his shirt. 

“Sorry, and I don’t know. Maybe we left one here on accident?” 

Sam looked him over, cleaning and bandaging the injury. 

“Well you got lucky, it was a clean shot. Straight through the shoulder.” 

“Yeah, real lucky,” Dean muttered as Sam went to the bathroom to clean himself up. 

He couldn’t believe this. This was exactly why he didn’t want Cas to have a gun in the first place. 

“Here,” Sam said as he gave him some pills. 

He took them gratefully, scooting painfully into the bed as he willed his pounding headache to go away. 

Sam made sure he was settled before going back to talk to Cas. He needed answers. Needed to know this was just a mistake and not Cas taking his frustrations out on Dean.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does have a trigger warning for thoughts of suicide.

Castiel paced the floor for what felt like hours as he waited as he waited for news on Dean. More than once he walked to his room, hand poised to knock, only to back up and walk away. 

Why would Dean want to see him anyway? He just shot him, that doesn’t exactly make for good conversation. 

Walking back into the main room he couldn’t tear his eyes from the blood. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Dean lying there, and it broke his heart. 

He just wanted to show Dean he could be useful, that he could help them. But once again he messed, failing miserably and destroying everything. Just like always. 

Now Dean hates him, Sam hates him, and he hates himself even more. 

Sitting down at one of the tables he put his head in his hands, sob racking his body. Why did everything he touched turn to crap? For once, couldn’t he just do something right? 

Calming himself he wiped his face and steadied his breathing. He was done. With everything. 

He’s killed, he’s lied, and he’s hurt the two people he cares for the most. And now he’s pushed away the only person he’s ever truly loved. 

Standing up he looks around, eyes searching for the one thing that could stop him from hurting everyone around him. Seeing it he grabs the gun, holding it tight as he felt the cold weight in his hand. 

He thought about saying goodbye, or at least trying to talk to Dean one last time. But it wouldn’t help. 

With one more look towards Dean’s room he headed to the door, slipping out silently as he walked into the woods.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for thoughts of suicide.

“Cas, you here?” Sam called out as he walked back into the main room. “Cas?” 

He searched the room, seeing nothing but the pool of blood on the ground and the bullet hole in the wall. 

“Cas it’s fine, just talk to me!” Sam called out as he continued his search. 

He checked the kitchen, library, dungeon, and all the other room but he still couldn’t find him. So he went back to Dean’s room, hoping and praying that Cas had just gone to see him. 

Quietly he opened the door and peeked inside. Dean was asleep and resting thanks to the drugs, but there was no sign of Cas. 

Pulling out his phone he dialed his number, tapping his foot anxiously as it rang. Then he heard it going off, the ring tone Dean had set coming from Cas’ room. He rushed in and looked around but Cas wasn’t there either. Sam went to his trenchcoat and pulled the phone out in dismay. 

So Cas was gone and they had no way to track him. 

He walked back to the main room and stared at the blood, a heavy feeling settling in his chest. Dean would be fine but Cas… He just knew something was wrong. 

Grabbing a mop and bucket he started to clean, washing the blood off the wood. He straightened the tables, putting everything back in place. But when he stopped his mind started to wander about what had happened. 

How did Cas get the gun anyway? He didn’t give him one… But then he remembered. 

Dean had spilled his bag the night before and most of the guns had fallen out. He must have found one and started messing with it. 

Thinking of the gun he remembered he never picked it up. So he started looking. He knew Cas had dropped it to the floor when he saw Dean but now he can’t find it. 

Sam searched the whole room for it but no luck. Then it hit him. 

Running to grab his coat he bolted out the door, running as fast and as hard as he could. Cas would have gone somewhere else, but not too far. He’d want to be found. 

With the sun setting soon he started to panic. If he couldn’t find him in time… Dean would never forgive himself or Sam if anything happened to Cas. 

He searched for hours with no luck. What if he’d already done it? No. He didn’t. Sam never heard the shot. Cas was still alive and he wouldn’t believe otherwise until he saw him. 

He started running again, looking for any sign of him. He stopped when he heard a noise, turning around and listening hard. 

That sounded like a voice. 

Cautiously he moved forward until he saw him. Cas was sitting on the ground, back against a tree with the gun in his hand. He was shaking and crying, saying something but Sam couldn’t quite make it out. He moved closer until he could hear him. 

“I’m sorry Dean, I’m so sorry. I’ll always love you….” 

He raised the gun, the barrel to his temple just as Sam jumped out. 

“CAS STOP!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for the Trigger Warning....thoughts of suicide.

Cas had found the perfect spot, open but still protected by the trees. 

Leaning against one of them he sank to the ground, tears streaming as he thought about what he was doing. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to go this way. He wanted to grow old with Dean by his side, knowing that he was loved. 

But how can that happen when he just destroyed it all over again? 

Cas looked around him and listened to the silence. It felt as if the trees themselves were waiting for that final shot, for him to end it all. 

Multiple times he raised the gun. To his temple, his mouth, none of it felt right. 

‘Of course it doesn’t feel right,’ Cas thought to himself. ‘I shouldn’t be doing this.’ 

But he was too afraid to go back. He didn’t want to see the anger on the brother’s faces, or the hurt on Dean’s. 

With one final deep breath he raised the gun, the barrel pressed against his temple as he said his last words. “I’m sorry Dean, I’m so sorry. I’ll always love you…” 

A crash startled him as a voice suddenly rang out. “CAS STOP!” 

He looked around and was shocked to see Sam, hands out like he was dealing with a wild animal. “Sam? What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here.” 

“Cas please don’t do this, don’t do this. Just come back.” 

Never lowering the gun Cas looked at him with tear filled and red eyes. “How can I come back Sam? I shot him. I could’ve killed him.” 

“But you didn’t… You didn’t kill him Cas.” 

“I didn’t? But, all of that blood…I thought…” 

Sam took a step closer when saw the gun start to lower. “No Cas, he’s fine. It was a clean shot through the shoulder. A couple weeks of rest and he’ll be good as new.” 

“Oh thank God!” Cas cried out with a sob as he dropped the gun. 

At the same time Sam moved closer, grabbing the gun from him as he pulled Cas close. “It’s ok Cas, it’s ok… Shhh…” 

Sam rocked him back and forth as he cried, unable to hold back his tears. He was sure he’d hurt him badly if not killed him. But knowing that Dean would not only live but heal normally was a huge relief. 

Once he was calm Sam pulled him back, giving him a sad smile. “Come on, let’s go home.” 

The walk back took forever and by the time they got back it was already dark. Dean was awake, confused and concerned as to why both Sam and Cas were missing. 

When he heard the door open and shut he went to see them. His body ached, not only did he get shot, but he hit the table on his way down. 

He stopped when he heard Cas talking to Sam, his normally deep voice sounding weak and wrecked. That’s when he knew something had happened. 

He followed them quietly, watching Sam as he helped Cas walk to his room, listening to their conversation. 

“Sam, do you think Dean will hate me?” 

“No Cas, he won’t hate you. I’ll talk to him first and explain. Once you rest you can talk to him too.” 

Sam walked to the door and was about to shut it when he stopped, turning around to look at his exhausted friend. “Hey Cas?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you for not…you know…” 

Cas gave him a small tired smile. “No Sam, thank you.” 

By the time Sam left Dean was in back in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a heavy feeling in his chest. Whatever happened while he was asleep must have been really bad. 

And the idea that he almost lost Cas….that terrified him.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam found Dean later that night, leaning against the doorway of Cas’ room as he watched him sleep. 

He watched his brother, saw the sad and confused look on his face and he knew it was time to talk to him. “Hey Dean, can I talk to you?” 

Dean looked at his brother then back to Cas, almost as if he was afraid to leave him alone. 

“I promise he’ll be fine. This will just take a second.” 

Dean looked at Cas again before nodding. “Yeah…sure…” 

Sam took him back to the kitchen and made him coffee, sitting down at the table with him. 

“What happened to him Sammy? What did he try to do?” 

Sam took a deep breath, knowing this was going to be hard. “Dean, he thought he killed you. He saw the blood, he knew he hurt you and he just- -” 

“What did he do Sam?” 

Sam looked at his brother and saw the bags under his eyes, how pale he was. It was obvious he knew something had happened. 

“He tried to kill himself.” 

Dean’s heart dropped at his words and he immediately felt sick. “Cas tried to… He was going to… I did this.” 

“What? Dean no, you didn’t- -” 

“I did Sam. He would have killed himself because of me.” 

Dean stood, his legs shaking underneath him. 

“Where are you going?” Sam asked worriedly. The last thing he needed was Dean trying to hurt himself. 

“I just…I need to see him.” 

Dean walked back to Cas’ room, rubbing his aching shoulder. 

If Cas had actually done it, if he had gone through with it, he wasn’t sure what he would have done. He could handle a lot, hell he already had. But that…he wasn’t sure he could handle that. 

Cas was still sleeping when he walked into his room, pulling a chair up next to the bed. Brushing a lock of hair off his face he looked at his beautiful Angel. He had to make this right with him.


	7. Chapter 7

A few hours later Cas woke up, stretching his body as he blinked the sleep away. 

“Good morning.” 

Cas jumped at the voice, turning to see Dean sitting next to the bed. “Dean…good morning. You should be resting.” 

Dean waved a hand at him, giving him a tired smile. “Nah, I’m fine. How are you? Sam told me what… He told me what you tried to do.” 

Cas sat up and looked at the floor. “I was afraid I had killed you. Dean,” he climbed off the bed, dropping to his knees in front of the hunter. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I just… I found the gun and I thought, if I could teach myself, maybe you would trust me more. I never meant to harm you Dean. I would kill myself before I- -” 

“Cas stop.” Dean said, his voice thick as looked down at the crying Angel. 

Cas looked up at him, eyes filled with tears and he could feel his heart breaking. 

“I don’t ever want you to do that again. Killing yourself…it’s not… Just promise me you’ll never do that. Promise me you’ll never hurt yourself like that.” 

“Dean I- -” 

“Promise me Cas. You promise me this and everything is forgotten.” 

Cas looked up at him, Dean’s eyes wet with tears he was trying to hold back. Only then did Cas realize how much Dean truly cared for him. “I promise.” 

Dean pulled him close, wrapping Cas in his arms as the tears spilled over. 

“Dean…” 

The hunter pulled back and looked at him. 

“I’m sorry…” 

Lifting his chin Dean kissed him. It was soft but powerful, letting Cas feel just what Dean was feeling. “You don’t have to apologize Cas. This wasn’t your fault. None of it was.” 

They held each other for awhile longer before Dean spoke. 

“I trust you Cas, more than anyone. That wasn’t my reason for not teaching you.” 

Cas pulled back and looked at him with confusion. “It’s not?” 

Dean shook his head. “I thought…if you couldn’t shoot, then you couldn’t hunt. And if you couldn’t hunt, then you couldn’t get hurt.” 

“Dean- -” 

“I know, you’re not a child,” Dean said softly. “That’s not my reason either. I was being selfish.” 

Cas tilted his head. “Selfish? Dean you’re one of the least selfish people I’ve ever met.” 

Dean laughed at that. “I was being selfish by keeping you here. You wanted to learn and I just wanted to keep you safe. It’s just, we’ve lost so many people we’ve cared about because of this life. I just didn’t want to lose you as well.” 

Cas wrapped a hand around the back of his head and pulled him down to kiss him. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Dean smiled and kissed him again, loving the soft moan Cas made when he ran a hand through his hair.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean stood in front of his mirror and checked his shoulder. The wound had healed, both sides now scarred but only a little. It didn’t hurt much anymore, just a little discomfort when a storm got close. Sam had made him do exercises to keep it strong. He was afraid of any lost mobility. 

As Dean threw on his shirt he smiled, Cas was about to get a surprise and he hoped he liked it. 

“Hey Cas, you got a minute?” Dean asked when he got to the Angel’s room. 

Cas looked up and smiled at him. “Of course.” 

Dean held out his hand, “Come on.” 

Taking Dean’s hand he was led to an area of the bunker he didn’t really know. This place was so big he was still learning it all. “Dean where are we going?” He asked with a nervous laugh. 

“You’ll see… Ok, now close your eyes.” 

“What?” 

“Just close them.” 

Cas obeyed and was led a little further. He wanted to peek and find out what was happening but Dean seemed excited, and he didn’t want to ruin it. 

“Ok stop,” Dean said. Gripping Cas’ hand he moved him to the right spot. “Open your eyes.” 

Cas opened them and looked around. The room was large and made of cement. There were six stalls in the room and he was standing behind one of them. Looking across from him, a good distance away, there was a person shaped paper with strange lines and targets on it. 

“Dean, where are we?” He asked hesitantly. He had the feeling he knew but the thought honestly scared him. 

Dean pulled a gun from the back of his pants and held it out to him. “I’m going to teach you how to shoot.” 

Cas stepped back, shaking his head as he looked and the gun. “I can’t, I- -” 

“Cas it’s ok, I can teach you how to use it so you don’t have to worry.” Dean knew this would be hard. 

“Dean I can’t. After what happened last time… I don’t even want to touch another gun.” 

Dean set the gun on the counter and stepped toward him. “Last time you didn’t have any training Cas,” he grabbed the Angel’s hands and held them tight. “Let me teach you. Let me show you how and you’ll never have to be afraid of it. Nothing will happen I promise.” 

Cas looked him in the eyes and could see he was right. If he could learn then he could help them, and he’d never have to worry about hurting Dean again. 

Taking a deep breath he nodded, “Ok.” 

Dean smiled and handed him the gun. His hands were shaking slightly but Dean gave them a gentle squeeze. 

“So I just…?” 

Dean gripped his hips and moved him into position, setting his legs and feet in the right stance. “Now hold out your arm. Yeah just like that. Ok now,” Dean stepped closer, his body flush against Cas’ as he set his arm. “I find that aiming a little off the target help you to hit it better. At least for me,” he laughed. 

Cas aimed, choosing to aim directly for the target, and fired. He aimed for the heart but missed, the bullet going off to the side. 

“That’s ok,” Dean said, setting him back into position. “Try again.” 

Cas aimed, setting the sight just slightly off target this time, and fired. The gun was loud and his ears were ringing but he didn’t care. He hit the target. 

Turning he hugged Dean tight and laughed. “I actually did it!” 

Dean laughed with him and then kissed him, pulling Cas closer. “You did and I’m proud of you.” 

Cas smiled, humming against his mouth. “You are huh?” 

Dean moved forward, walking Cas backward until he hit the wall. “I am. VERY proud…” 

Cas grinned as Dean pinned his hands above his head.


	9. Chapter 9

Cas moaned loudly as Dean kissed him, licking into his mouth as the hunter’s hands roamed his body. He turned his head so Dean could have more access, relishing the small bites and nips he felt on his skin. 

Dean slid a hand under his shirt, fingers finding and teasing a nipple as Cas squirmed. 

“Dean, ah, Dean please.” 

The hunter kissed him again, sucking lightly on his bottom lip. “What do you want Cas? Tell me…” 

The Angel moaned as a hand started to palm him, kneading and squeezing until his mind was a jumble of words. “…you…ah! Want you…please!” 

Dean grinned and pulled Cas’ shirt off, running his hands over the warm skin. It was so soft. No scars, no marks, just perfection. 

He kissed Cas’ shoulder, his tongue leaving tiny licks as he moved from one shoulder to the next. Cas’ hips were bucking, searching for more friction but Dean held him still. 

“Dean…” Cas whined. 

“I know baby, I know.” 

His hands roamed further down, tugging on the button and unzipping Cas’ pants. They dropped with ease and Cas kicked them off, standing there in just his boxers. 

“Really Cas?” Dean asked with a breathless laugh when he saw them. 

Cas blushed, looking down at them. They were a pale blue, small pictures of thunder and lightning all over them. “I liked them…” 

Dean laughed and kissed him. “Yeah I like them too.” 

Slowly he sank down, eyes locked with Cas as he rubbed his nose against him, taking in the pure scent that was his Angel. When Dean mouthed him, hot breath soaking through the fabric, Cas gripped his shoulders. 

Dean smirked as he pulled them down to expose him. In one easy movement he had them off and tossed away, keeping Cas preoccupied as he mouthed and sucked on his balls. The Angel cried out, hips trying to jerk as he whimpered. 

When he was about to come he stopped Dean, pulling up and into a breathless kiss. 

Gripping the bottom of Dean’s shirt he pulled it up and over his head. His eyes immediately found the scar, the one he put there by accident. His chest tightened as he looked, only broken when Dean placed a hand on his cheek, his eyes conveying nothing but love for him. 

Softly he kissed the scar, his tongue tracing it as the hunter pressed closer. 

Dean quickly finished undressing and tossed the clothes off to the side. Cas hummed happily when he saw him, reaching out stroke him. Dean panted into Cas’ neck as the Angel worked, softly nipping his shoulder as his body jerked. 

“Cas…Cas stop. I want you.” 

Cas nodded and pulled away. 

With a few strokes Dean’s hand was slick with his precome. As he reached behind Cas the Angel lifted a leg, granting Dean access. 

Cas moaned as the first finger entered him, biting his lip at the burning stretch before it turned to pleasure. After a minute Dean added another, soon filling Cas with four. 

The Angel moaned loudly, crying out each time a finger brushed that sensitive spot. 

When Dean thought he was ready he pulled them out, gripping Cas’ thighs and lifting him up. Cas yelped at the sudden move but soon started moaning as he felt the tip of Dean’s cock against his hole. 

Slowly Dean lowered him, arms under his thighs as Cas gripped his shoulders. When he was filled completely Dean stopped, using the wall behind Cas to help hold him. 

When Cas was ready he started to move, lifting him off before dropping him back down. The pace sped up with each thrust, Dean grunting with the effort while Cas moaned his name. 

Cas came first, a loud cry echoing through the room as he emptied himself between them. 

Dean kept moving, shoulder starting to burn from the effort of holding the Angel up. He came cry that was swallowed by Cas as the Angel kissed him. 

Dean finally pulled out and lowered him carefully to the floor. They lay together, panting and shivering from the mess cooling on their skin. 

“Thank you Dean, for teaching me. I promise not to let you down.” 

Dean rolled over and kissed him, a hand sliding behind his head to deepen it. When he pulled back he looked him right in the eye. “You never do Cas.”


End file.
